Snips, snails and puppy dog tails.

As I'm sure you've all seen by now, but we are having a little boy!!!!! We could not be more excited to get started on everything that is a baby boy... But here is how we decided to find out.

On Tuesday, the 16th we had our anatomy ultrasound. We asked her to not tell us the gender during this appt., so when she went between the legs, she had us turn our heads and she printed off the pictures and put them in a sealed envelope. On the way home from our appt we met our photographer and passed off the top secret envelope.

Wednesday, the 17th, (my b-day) we met our photographer at the gazebo where the secret box was. We closed our eyes and opened them only as we opened the box revealing the blue balloons, all as she snapped away!!! Here are a couple of proofs from that day...

To say we were shocked is an understatement. Although looking back, I'm not sure why. From the beginning we both thought boy. When we saw the 12 week ultrasound it looked just like a little Kevin. But somewhere around 14 or 15 weeks I changed my mind and was SO sure it was a girl. I thought my body was totally telling me. Even when I saw that little baby on our 18 week ultrasound and he was laying with one arm over his head (JUST like Kevin sleeps every single night) and one leg kicked up on the side of my uterus just hanging out, it didn't hit me that I was looking at an 8 ounce version of my husband. Looking back, I should have known!

It took us a little while to wrap our minds around the fact that it was a boy because I had convinced us both that it was a girl, but by Friday night, when we presented my mom with the picture of us opening the box, we had completely gotten into the boy mindset :) Our parents had no idea we were doing this, or even that we knew yet, so it was a fun little surprise for them as well!

Also, in case you were wondering, our girls are thrilled with this news!!!! Rahja now has a constant playmate who does not have to leave every third day for work, and Nala can still by my baby girl. They both got what they wanted :)

Now, if only we could speed up these next 4.5 months so we can hold him and see him in real life!!!! We have all these emotions and ideals about what life is going to be like with this little guy, and we can't wait to get it all started!

It's... October?!?!?!

Where has the time gone?!?! Life around here has been flying by for all of us. Here's a little update...

We have set some financial goals that we want to accomplish by the time that Gummy Bear gets here, and because of those Kevin has been working his tail off. I literally see him for a few hours in the evenings, and that's about it. He spent over 70 hours painting someone's house for them, then painted their shed, is now painting their kids' shed, and then is painting a railing at someone else's house, only to go back and do more work for the first people. He cannot get enough time in the day. And although it has been a blessing to us for making extra money, I absolutely hate how much he has been gone. There are always things around here that need done too and I try to get them done for him as much as possible but some things are just "Kevin jobs," He never even complains (which I think he deserves to do) and me and the girls could not be more thankful for him and his work ethic.

We did however, talk him into taking a day off so we could drive to the beach for the day and it was so worth it! Going to Cannon Beach has always been our little mind clear, and the place we go to refocus on our family. The girls ADORE going there-as Rahja cries for the last 20 minutes of the drive every time. Kevin and I love to sit in the sand and laugh at their sheer happiness all day.

 

We were so excited to tell Gummy Bear that this is "our place" and how much he/she will love going there on sunny days off. Just like the girls do!

 

This trip was a little different for us because as we sat there with our girls we realized that this would probably be our last time there without Gummy in our lives. We usually go in October and then not again until the spring. By spring, Gummy will be here. As exciting as that is, part of us realized at that moment just how different life would be. We have had five years of this version of "life" and it is going to be different for us to include someone else in our little pack of four. However, we are sure that Gummy will soon become our new leader :)

 

 

As far as my life goes, I have been subbing whenever people ask me, and I tutor four kiddos a week. It is nice to feel like I have all this new found freedom, but I would rather be enjoying it with Kev. With my Masters behind me and no full time job, much of my time is spent thinking about and preparing for a life with Gummy. Unfortunately I have started a new sleeping routine of being awake from 2 until about 5 each night so it has been really nice to be able to take mornings slowly.

 

Although I am not as busy as I like to be, I am looking at this time as a total blessing because I am getting to spend so much time with my girls, getting things done around my house, and Kev- when he's around, all things that I know might change in five short months. We try to go on walks every night that Kev is home, where Kevin and I can talk, plan and dream about our future together. We are lucky.

 

So if you haven't seen much of us, it's because we haven't had a whole lot of "us" lately. Things will slow down soon, once this weather turns to rain! This is going to be an exciting month for us so hopefully it all gets here soon!

In the meantime, I need to go make cookies for my hubby, and a second batch for my babies.

 

Until next time!!!!

Remembrance

Today, September 11th, we fly a flag on our porch to remember this horrible day and the way our country was able to rally together to rebuild a devastated nation. For the families who lost loved ones on this day, and those of us who simply watched it on the television a nation away, it is a day none of us will ever forget. My fears on that day were my family members in the armed forces (Dad, Brother, Cousins) but my fears now days are that my husband, the rock of my world, or any of the other amazing families with PF&R, would ever have to face a day like the one those NYFD men/women faced 11 years ago. I know that the pain is not over for those families who have loved ones fighting across seas, and I wish they could all just be home, where they belong.

As we try to be patriotic, we sometimes aren't all that great at it. This day is always something I take the time to teach about in my classrooms; however our home sometimes lacks the acknowledgement of days like today. This year, however is different. We bought ourselves a flag... But not just any flag. This flag has special meaning to both of us, because it is a flag that was bought at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii this year. It was flow over the site of the USS Arizona on the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor and then packaged up to sell. That was neat in itself. What makes it even more special to us, was that when Kevin's parents went to Hawaii, while his mom was pregnant with him, they bought one of these same flags that still flies at their house. Now our flag was from when Kevin was in Hawaii with his pregnant wife. Isn't that fun??? Especially because I think it's a boy too. :)

Anywho, this is a day in which to be thankful, and I for one, have a lot of things to be thankful for!!!!

From the beginning

Here are some pictures of Gummy Bear, starting from five days old...

 

First ultrasound... Five weeks

First sound of Gummy's heartbeat!!!! 7.5 weeks

9.5 weeks

AND now... 11.5 weeks

 

 

 

Crazy how much Gummy has changed SO quickly huh???



Oh Gummy Bear....

All the heartache, was worth it.

All the 5:00 dr. appts to make it to work on time, worth it.

All the pain-both physical and emotional, worth it.

All the money, worth it.

All the determination that this would be our answer, worth it.

This baby is a lot of hard work, and strength,

but mostly an abundance of love.

 



I have wanted to blog since sharing our good news, but I really wanted to include all of our ultrasound pictures which I am still too lazy to scan into my computer. Finally I decided to just do it without them, I love my blog family too much to continue putting it off.

 

By now, I am sure you have read the news and seen our latest ultrasound picture... IVF WORKED!!!!! But let me assure you, even after knowing it worked, it has not been an easy road.

 

We found out on the way to the beach on July 10th, via phone call from ORM (Oregon Reproductive Clinic) that I had a positive pregnancy blood test that morning. I was in complete disbelief. It just sounded too good to be true, and after what we had been through on a previous pregnancy, I went directly from excitement to horrible fear. Fear of another loss, and another one of the biggest heartaches of my life. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, but this time was even more difficult seeing how there was also a mighty large price tag on this little thing, and I knew losing it would hurt even that much more.

In the midst of all of this, I started bleeding and cramping pretty badly. To the point where I thought it was all over with. I showed up at ORM on Monday morning, tears in eyes, and told them they needed to test everything because I thought I was losing the baby. They hastily went into action taking blood and called me shortly after to let me know that my HCG showed I wasn't losing the baby... Yet. They put me on some MORE magic progesterone and scheduled our first ultrasound a few days later to check for a sac with the beginnings of a baby in it. To say I was terrified is an understatement. It was a relief to see that little sac, but I knew we were far from out of the woods.

A little over two weeks later we went back to see if we could find a healthy heartbeat. If I thought the last appt was nerve wracking, I was wrong, because this one took the cake. I actually called and moved it back, trying to avoid hearing bad news. I sat in the waiting room begging Kevin to take me home, and went into the room shaking. A few minutes (which felt like hours) later the doctor had a little picture of the cutest gummy bear in history on the screen, and we heard the most beautiful sound in the world, Gummy Bear's strong heartbeat. Easily the best moment of my life thus far. Kevin and I both broke down into tears thinking that this journey just might actually bring our happy ending. With that little sound of a train chugging away, we were smitten. Still terrified, but feeling a little better to send us off to Hawaii. Peace of mind was something we desperately needed.

Once we were home it was one more ultrasound at ORM (to which I actually felt a little excited for, if you can believe that) and once again the sound of that little Gummy Bear. This time the heart rate had increase to 176 beats per minute and little Gummy Bear was dancing around like a happy little baby. This would be the appt we were told that we were ready to return to Kaiser... A scary, scary, sentence for us to hear. Sure, Kaiser is free, which would be nice, however these people were our lifeline. They created this baby in a dish, raised it for five days, put it back where it belonged, and saved us from losing it at 5 weeks. We did not want to leave the safety and comfort we had established with them.

Alas, that brings us to this week, and our first appt at Kaiser. It was strange, not cutting a 500 dollar check at the end, and I didn't feel as trusting in their care, but Gummy Bear was once again given a healthy, dancing, bill of health :)

We know we are not out of the woods yet, believe me. But 10.5 weeks feels good. I am staring down the second trimester, which I always dreamed of reaching. I have felt pretty good, a little sick in the evenings or if I let my tummy get empty, but no puking. I was recently told that after two months now of doing no physical activity, I could start walking again, so Kevin and I kicked it off with a four mile walk with our first loves at Lacamas Lake. It feels good to move again, and hopefully walk off some of these Dots Doughnuts, french fries, and ice cream. So far, I have been able to nap whenever I need to, and take it pretty easy, which I feel so lucky for.

Mostly, I feel blessed. Kevin and I cannot believe the love that already surrounds this little baby. The support system we have, and the excitement people are sharing with us is incredible. We have no fears about being parents, not one. We are just naively so overjoyed with the tasks that will face us in six short months. I wake up at night thinking "gosh Gummy Bear, how am I ever going to wait 6 more months for you?!?!"

We are ready.

Ready to be parents together.

Mosty, ready to share this baby which has been such a labor of love with the rest of our amazing support system!

 



Isn't summer meant to be relaxing?

So one thing I never thought of was how I would take my blog that I used to chart my IVF experience and turn it back into a normal blog. I know you guys are still checking it, and I feel guilty that I have left you completely hanging, however I am not quite ready to talk about it... Yet.

So, on we push. Our summer has been CRAZY (which maybe has been a gift because it has given us less time to sit around and think about things) but I am ready for a break from all that!!! This week I am teaching a summer school for two hours a day, and it is really nice to see some of my kiddos, but it has kept me busy planning, shopping, and making sure I have everything to entertain for two hours. The money is nice though!

Kev has been putting in extra work as well, because in a few weeks we leave for Kauai!!!! We simply cannot wait to sit on a warm beach and do nothing but soak in the sunshine and the ocean breeze. We are going with my family, and rented a house right on the beach, so it should be a blast!!!! Might try our hands at surfing again, and definitely will be doing some paddle boarding. I simply cannot wait to take a break from life for a whole week!!!! (Except I will still be in school, so I have to take my computer and do homework while we are there... yuck)

So that's what we have been up to lately... Working, working in our yard, running errands, going to appts, and trying to take a little time to do nothing IF we can fit it in.
Thank you for continuing to check in on us!!! Your support is greatly appreciated!!!!

Just hanging...

Hello my lovely little blog family! Oh, how I have grown so attached to those of you who read this and then inspire and uplift me. And, I am thankful for a place to pour my thoughts and life happenings.

Nothin new around these parts. Kev and I are just trying to stay busy and pass our time looking out to our dr. appt. Nothing feels different to me... So that is somewhat bothering me. But, we are coming to terms with the possibility of having to start (and pay for) round two. Sure, I would love to take that money and pay off part of my student loans, but we both agree that this is where we want to spend it. We want one more try. If needed, that is. We have plans to get out of town after the results (either way) just in case. Running away from problems always seems to make them smaller once you return :).

I know that you are all faithfully checking back, and I appreciate that! Nothing has really changed, and time is passing slowly! Thank you for your thoughts!!!!